“I been starting to feel like, I don’t know anyone…
So now I’m staring at my ceiling fuckin’ going like,
I have no idea where I’m going..”

~ Tyler, The Creator, “Boredom”

Welp, this has been a year. We’re in a time where you don’t want to look up for fear of burnt retinas from eclipses or, I don’t know, a damn missile (a reality and a possibility, respectively). Let me just put my disclaimer that I did/do not cosign whatever 45 has done to (potentially) cause World War III. But I digress here.

There’s three days and change left until this year is in the history books… and truth be told, let’s get this circus over with already.

In this year, I started my 4th decade of life, and I sure learned a whole hell of a lot. I realize I left a lot on the table in terms of sharing what I’ve done during this year. Maybe they’ll be used for future posts. Maybe they’ll end up in a photo book. Maybe I’ll just have a nice collection. But in any rate, it was a bit different the 30th time around.

So, I took another trip in my favorite rocketship and left the continent for nine days on my midlife crisis shit.. and didn’t post a single thing about it.. which is very strange for me, since the last time I left the U.S., I flooded the blue hell out of (insert social media site here) with everything I can think of posting. This go-around? Not so much. Or at all. Not because I don’t have anything to post or hide, but because I lost the interest to do so. I realize that there are times where it seems like I’m bragging about teh misadventures I haz (yes, the spelling is incorrect intentionally), but I’m actually wanting to incorporate anyone who is remotely interested in what I love to do. Maybe it’s an escape, maybe it’s finding oneself, maybe it’s a stepping stone to another life. Who knows, eh? But it’s never meant to throw in a reader’s face.

I know I’m coming from all angles. Just bear with me here. Appreciated.

I promise I’m not really this much of a grinch this time of year… eh, fxck it, I kinda am. But, it’s not like it’s not justifiable. Through one channel or another, tragedy usually hits around the holidays. Not like it doesn’t happen to others, or that I’m the only one that deals with circumstances of that nature, but nevertheless, it does alter my stance on the holiday feels. It’s gotten to the point where I’m not even in the mood to celebrate things that I normally do, such as New Year’s Eve. Previous years, I’d be itching to go to some celebration, being in the middle of the party with hats, champagne flutes and being all festive. This go-around, not in the mood to do much of anything.

I can be the first tell to you that as much of a saint as I’ve tried to be, I’ve done some stupid shit. I’m vague on this because reasons. But just as Johnny Cash sung, you can run on for a long time.. sooner or later God’ll cut you down. All I can be is better than I was the day before. This is a daily exercise that I am working on (as well, you know, the world). Never said it was easy, nor did I expect it to be. The fact of the matter is, the process is long and enduring.

Nevertheless, there were a lot of takeaways throughout this year. With this, there was a lot taken away as well. But the year ends with circling the wagons and having a familiar phrase being echoed (at this point, beaten) in my head:

Know Your Worth.

I have been told this for the longest amount of time, and time and time again, I seem to forget that. Honestly, I don’t know why I haven’t learned this as of yet. It has been my downfall time and again, and it doesn’t seem like this lesson has been learned. Hence, here we are. Let this be my “resolution” (even though I’m firmly against resolutions for many reasons; ask me why and I’ll be glad to tell you) for the upcoming year. Hell, it might even be a tattoo for next year. I’m open to suggestions.

I know I sound pessimistic and depressing. We take the good with the not-so-good, don’t we? And no, I’m not saying the year was all terrible and there weren’t great things that occurred. This is just my perspective. 2018 is already going to be life-changing, one way or another. That’s already guaranteed. While there is much to look forward to, it’s also a wake-up call and a call to action. Of course I have goals that I would like to accomplish in this upcoming year, and I think that I’m so goal-driven this upcoming year because in my train of thought, I accomplished virtually nothing that I had set out to do that didn’t have anything to do with travel. Now since that has been accomplished (and the fact that I won’t have the same travel amenities and flexibility of before), I ask myself, “With what we know 2018 will bring forth, what now?”

Normally, there would be a whole picture show with this to make it a bit more appealing to those who thumb through my ish. This is not the case this time. This is a more serious and thought-driven post. Not like the other ones aren’t, but this one had to be just words. I’ve got hundreds of pictures for the year, but I’d rather give you me from a written view rather than a visual. I have plenty of visual aids I can utilize, but there’s nothing like words on a page.

So, until 2018, everyone. I’ll try to look up without burning my retinas, and I won’t duck from oncoming planes. Unless, you know, they’re coming right at me. Then I’ll kinda have to. #overandout