so there’s no lawsuits and liability: all past, present, and future views expressed throughout Jay’s Epic Misadventures are solely my own, and do not represent the opinions of any particular entity or affiliation I associate with. Short story shorter, don’t try to link what I say/think as a negative to where I work/who I associate with. we good? we good.

this is crazy, i’m on the right track, i’m finally found/
you need some soul searching, the time is now..

~ Nas, “One Mic”

I’m gonna start taking the under on how many posts I make during the course of the year.. since I keep saying I’m posting more, and then I eat a sandwich, and then it’s six months later and I’m eating the same sandwich. I can’t even eat a sandwich anymore being on keto. So, half most damn near the whole store is off limits.. save for sugar free candy and all the animals I care to eat. I mean, it’s fun to eat In-N-Out.. until you realize you do it every day. Yeesh. But one thing I can say.. it is working, so far. Now to just continue the path. Protein style everything.

Anyway, we are a good 286 days into 2019. I don’t even want to think about Christmas, because that’s only about 73 days away. But go to any store nowadays and they’re already pushing Christmas stuff.. I can’t tell you how sad it is to see Christmas (skipping riiiiiiight over Thanksgiving) paraphernalia. Rudolph and Frosty are already at Costco, and Halloween’s not even over. Damn shame.

Seeing how this is the second post of this year, (yeah, that’s a shame, but it’s been busy.. no excuse, it’s j.. no, it’s an excuse, let’s not lie to kick it), and considering that next post probably won’t be until after the holidays next year, knowing my posting schedule, it’s as good a time as any to reflect NOW so that’s it at least relevant.

So, where are we? And let’s be honest.

Self-Evaluation: we’re still a work in progress. We’ll always be, but how you decide to progress on that work in progress determines the success you (don’t) see. I’ve had a lot of Eric Thomas played at work. For those who haven’t heard of him, create a new tab and YouTube him.. specifically the video of “You Owe You”. He speaks firmly to the point of yelling. He has no excuses, he has no reasons if things don’t happen. He has several videos, but speaks on main points such as:

“Don’t be surprised of the success you didn’t get from the work you didn’t do.”

There is no easy way to do anything worthwhile. I don’t have hand clap emojis to accentuate my point. But from when I last wrote this post to now, I was unsure if I was cut out for a lot of things, or people for that matter. Everything was going through the motions, just to get a check, just to pay a bill or ten, just to keep a position, just to complete and cycle the circle again. Getting reprimanded at work for literally any possible thing thinking I was doing it right when I was lowkey screwing things up, it was time for LinkedIn and (insert recruiting service here) to start doing their thing again. But there was a beat of time that was used to figure out exactly what is my why.. the reason that I get up (and if that reason affects my attitude towards the day positively or negatively) and make my way to the office each day. Is that what is triggering my success or my failure doing what I do everyday?

And there it was. Which leads me to the next point that I heard:

“You. Owe. You.”

Ask yourself: If no one was looking over your shoulder to micro-manage keep you accountable, would you keep yourself accountable if you didn’t accomplish what you needed to? And be honest with yourself.. because I wasn’t. Autonomy without structure can be destructive. I was a fan of the “let’s just get through today doing what I can to stay under the radar” team, and for the longest time, I was just sure that this was going to be status quo. But the times, they were/are a’changin’, and it just didn’t pay off for me. Financially, personally, that whole nine. At any rate, it became time that the work that I put in would be the same work whether I was with my manager/director/Vice President, or if I was dolo. So the work changed. The grind changed. The results didn’t.. at first. I was aware that with the type of position I hold, day 1 work would pay off at day 100. It’s if I was willing to put in the same work on day 100 that I did day 1 that would tell what results would be yielded. Case in point: You (clap) owe (clap) you (clap). You have a responsibility to put in 100% into what you do. If you don’t get to where you need to be, it’s not Glen’s fault (watch the video for the reference, you’ll understand). You owe yourself an explanation.

Seriously. What is stopping you from doing what you want/need to do? 

This is something I ask of myself every day: If things aren’t going how I want them to, what am I going to do to turn that around? What plan is in place to get to my goal, and how am I holding myself accountable to that same goal? What is it that it will take for you to accomplish those dreams you’ve put on the back burner? I admit, I hadn’t an explanation for myself at first. I was continually justifying my lack of (full) effort on assurances that I would make it up later while still being on track. We all tell those lies to get off our own hot seat.. until we write it down.

Once it’s written, it’s in existence. You see it and it’s not going anywhere. So you either write down lies, or it’s time to make good on those promises. Truth be told, I wish I had held myself accountable more often and earlier on. But you can only focus on what’s ahead at this point. Nevertheless, what are you doing? And are you holding yourself accountable? I know I’m sounding pastor preachy, and I say these things for a reason. Someone reading this that I’ll never see/speak to will read this, and will need this. Hell, I needed this. If I didn’t feel like it was worthy of being discussed, I wouldn’t be here at 1am writing this.

Things have turned around since then. Not to say that there aren’t still challenges and obstacles in the way, and that I am not perfect in my goals every single day. But the final point (and the most direct one at that) that drives the point home is simple:

“You will not outwork me.”

Knowing exactly what this entailed was taxing. Nothing worthwhile is ever easy, but the amount of work needed to satisfy the worthwhile is subjective to the person, if that makes sense. Basically saying, if something doesn’t work out, it won’t be because of a lack of effort on my part (is the goal, at least). But in terms of what the amount of effort is to achieve a goal, I will do my best to ensure the ethic matches the words. If not, then it goes back to what am I doing to turn that around?

If you’ve made it this far, thank you. Me writing this is not a brag to what I’m doing or what I’ve done, or a weird “lol i’m better than you ’cause i do x and it works gg” flex. All I’m trying to do is instill a sense of urgency and destroy any sense of complacency you have. Two things I loathe and detest are complacency and laziness. I will push you if you have a dream. I will hold accountable if you give me the chance to. At some point, you might not like the fact that I’ll bring it up consistently. But it’s out of love, not spite. I ask (well, charge) you to do the same for me.

*sigh*

Okay then. Next subject.

bear: bear is growing.. faaaaaast.

These things I know to be true:
– bear loves basketball, and putting the biscuit in the basket.
– bear will fight you for her tablet. bear also knows how to navigate phones, skip ads and differentiate songs and dances.
– bear will tell you “no” with attitude in one breath, then say “thank you” in the same beat.
– bear *LOVES* Mickey & Minnie Mouse. Enough so that mice will be visited in Anaheim sooner than later.
– bear never stops smiling… at herself.

Every day is a new lesson. Every day is a new obstacle. But every day is a day with bear. ❤

Traversing:

Well, funny you should ask. I actually bought a Traverse.

Once upon a time, I had a car I named Bessie. Bessie was a 2 door Pontiac coupe that was my workhorse. I had made many a trip with Bessie, including a LA-SJ-LA trip nonstop in a 10 hour span. That car was a peach. Enter back-to-back rear end collisions, and Bessie took one shot too many for her liking. After borrowing vehicle after vehicle (as well as renting, which became expensive and inconvenient AF), I was able to get this one from the SF Auto Show. I do not have a name for her yet. I will not name her Black Beauty. I am taking suggestions for names.. except Black Beauty.

As of now, with the exception of South/East Bay trips (San Jose, Hayward, etc), the only place it’s made its mark is Modesto. But don’t you worry. This is headed southbound on 101/5/1, whichever has the better adventure. It ain’t called a Traverse for nothing, you know?

In terms of the flying adventures:

Orlando: With recent purchases and obligations, this is not cancelled.. simply postponed. Plus, Bear’s gotta work up a tolerance for flying. 5 hours in a car is one thing. Can’t stop a plane for a bathroom break.

Japan: Down to 285 days. I have a ways to go. But we’re getting there. Hell, high water, or the rapture. I’ve made too many posts to NOT go.

Alright, it’s 3am, and I’ve got nothing else for the moment. Let’s build for 2020. Year’s not over, no time like the present. Til next time we converse.. #overandout