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*Disclaimer: all past, present, and future views expressed throughout Jay’s Epic Misadventures are solely my own, and do not represent the opinions of any particular entity or affiliation I associate with. Short story shorter, don’t try to link what I say/think as a negative to where I work/who I associate with.*

I have written and re-written this a few times, and often could not find the words to fully grasp what I wanted to convey. This was long overdue, so excuse the dated references.

Nevertheless, let’s get started.

i’m black y’all, and i’m black y’all,
and i’m blackety black and i’m black y’all
and i’m black y’all, and i’m black y’all,
and i’m blackety black and i’m black y’all…

Dead Mike, “I’m Black” (CB4)

It’s been 197 days between this post and the last one. And yikes, how the world has changed. Last we spoke, it was of Christmas, and how it wouldn’t be the last post of the decade. It was in fact the last post of the decade.. and sadly, that was a simpler time. The 49ers were well on their way to the playoffs, we were looking back at 2019 and how quickly it passed, and having a rosy outlook to the new decade. And it looked that way from the jump.. what happened, you ask?

Someone got a new job. I started Comcast and struggled. I was told, and higher up’s told me that, and I quote, “they were concerned about my progress and making it here”. Welp, that’s a kick in the junk if I’ve heard it. Truth be told, it brought me back to before I got a chance with the company.. when the voices of “you’re never be able to find or keep a job” ran rampant on my conscience. So, with the “Eye of the Tiger” song in the background, I turned things around. I had a lot of help from my coworkers, managers and anyone willing to help. The struggle was there. The hard months were there. The temptation of finding another position was there. But lo, the turnaround commenced. The behaviors changed, the strategies changed.. and the results changed. So, with a new division of the company being unveiled to our region, I decided to throw my hat in the ring. My hat was picked up. So, I handle larger, existing accounts and work with them for longer periods of time. More my niche than what I did, but I learned a whole hell of a lot for the role in my time there. So, time to take my talents to South Beach, so to speak.

The Keto ting keeps working out. Welp, I did not hit 240 by the end of the year.. but I did hit my first goal. By sticking to this diet (albeit with some setbacks), intermittent fasting (albeit with some setbacks), and Jillian Michaels (no shame.. albeit with some setbacks), I was able to hit my lightest weight since freshman year of college (after the freshman 15, but hey, I’ll take it). There’s still work to do, there are other macro goals to hit in order to get to where I need to, but dear reader, I need you to peep game for a minute. The kilograms and stones lost are one thing, and definitely one main thing. But the mentals behind it are immense. We’re family by this point, so we’re getting into some personals here. The mentals behind looking in the mirror and seeing 20% less of you in such a short period of time is mind-blowing. I fit sizes I dared not to try lest I want to look stuffed in them. You know the saying how someone has jeans painted on them, they’re so tight? Yeah, nobody wants to see that on me. Like ever. But that’s not the case. I mean, the cardio is better, the structural facial changes are ridiculous.. I saw a picture of myself of August 2019, and saw myself wearing a shirt that damn near looked like a halter. Fast forward today, and it looks like the tall tees I wore in high school. Yeah, that’s not being brought back. Like ever.

So, we say all that to say this: there is still work to be done. There are still goals to be hit and to achieve. There are still Jillian Michaels videos to watch workout to. Issa struggle, but the process yields the results.. and issa hell of a process, but results speak for themselves. I’m right now at 235 to date, and about 20 pounds away from my goal. Lowkey didn’t think that this was in my wheelhouse, but hey, here we are.

Things were working in favor, thennnnn a little strain called COVID-19 decided to make its way to the United States, and it completely changed everyting. Every. ting.

We came to a literal standstill. First it was a scant few that felt sick. Then it was a few dozen that were hospitalized.. that turned into 122,246 deaths in the United States alone to date (amongst the 2.3 million confirmed positive cases). Four months ago, we scoffed at the thought of wearing face masks. Now, businesses are turning away patrons if people do not wear them. Social distancing keeps us from interacting and visiting with those we love most in person. We were literally told to stay home.. from everything (save an emergency). This led to 5am store runs and a nationwide shortage of essential items and paper products.

Any type of travel was not happening. So, in regards to traversing to different states/countries, we are redesigning our vacation plans so we don’t catch this terrible bug. Not cancelled, but just a re-design of plans. Once everything gets all situated, we’ll be able to circle back and see what’s feasible and what’s backburner worthy.

Nevertheless, inaction brought us to this point, and it will be lack of adherence to common sense that might keep us from experiencing any sense of normalcy from here on in. I understand there needs to be steps on getting our normalcy back on track, and I know that it entails us reopening our doors so businesses don’t have to close theirs. But the more that we do not follow guidelines, safety measures and procedures, and practice general etiquette and courtesy, the longer we have to fret about this virus that is rapidly taking the lives of loved ones (who are not in their 60’s and 70’s, but in their 20’s and 30’s) left and right.

Neither myself or my immediate family have been affected by it. I do have friends who have had family succumb to the novel coronavirus, and to them, I continue to extend my deepest apologies and condolences. With so many people unknowingly being carriers to this disease and spreading it, I ask everyone who lays eyes on this blog to be safe, for yourself and for people around you. Tell me what’s worse, being inconvenienced about wearing a mask in public, or dealing with kidney and lung failure because of your pride of breathing freely? This is more of a general statement rather than a pointed attack at a specific person, so don’t think I’m coming sideways to you for no reason. However, let me walk out to a store coughing and hacking without protecting myself from other people, and my germs end up getting a family (or my family, at that) infected. Whose life are you really inconveniencing at that point? I hope that we are able to develop a cure for this so we can re-gather and hit the play button once again on what we call life. I know we will get there one day, but only if we can do what is necessary to get there.

And (clap) speaking (clap) of (clap) which (clap)…

We witnessed a revolution. It seems we can’t go a day without hearing the name of yet another black person being murdered by police brutality. It just happened to be a string of murders (let’s call them what they are and stop sugarcoating it) from one part of the country to another. We weren’t even finished grieving over Ahmaud Arbery (hell, it wasn’t even fodder for news until a few weeks after when videos started materializing) when we heard that another black person (say her name, Breanna Taylor) was gunned down for, you know, being in her residence.. and the proverbial back-breaking straw was the public saw a man dying in the custody of police on camera. 526 seconds (8 minutes, 46 seconds, as we all know) of pressure put on this man’s neck while police officers are kneeling on him and keeping anyone who dare assist this man at bay. George Floyd called for his deceased mother. George Floyd seemingly  LITERALLY begged for police to let him breathe. George Floyd was in handcuffs as multiple officers restricted his breathing and movement. They killed that man on camera.

I do not speak for all Black people, I speak only for the author of what you read on this site. But there is a connundrum afoot that I need help answering. We are taught and have it ingrained that we have this supposed First Amendment right to protest and have our freedom of expression. But we can’t do it silently. Or by respectfully kneeling. Or by marching. Or by compliance. So what do you expect an oppressed group of people to do when their silence or their words fall on deaf ears for decades (going on centuries)?

If your answer was “We fxcking riot, that’s what we do”, you’re right.. to a degree.

If you (“you” being an oppressor to justice and equality and not you casually reading.. unless you are an oppressor to justice and equality, than absolutely I mean you) are ignorant to my words that, for a lack of a better word, beg to keep my well-being and those of the same race/ethnicity existent on this Earth, then understand that my actions will not be peaceful and to your liking. There is a difference however of getting a point across versus joining a movement to recklessly inflict damage. I will say this regarding what has happened over the last few weeks: I am not a fan of the destroying of specific property unnecessarily. I do however understand why it came to this point, and not understanding the reasoning of why the tension reached this boiling point presents a concerning issue, in which I will gladly have a civil conversation. I do not have all the answers, nor do I claim to. However, it is important to be somewhat knowledgeable about how we got here, and why there is the unrest there is in our society. Society unfortunately has not learned from its mistakes (I refer you to LA circa 1992), so it’s the same song and dance until the wrench is thrown in the gears.

So, where do we go from here? We are living in a very important and very integral part of history at this point in time. In these times where we armed with only a cell phone (which can either exonerate you from blame or kill you in the process), and a knowledge of our human and civil rights, it is imperative that we vote, we stay educated, and we continue being advocates. This does not stop once one case is closed. As of this post, the four policemen that killed George Floyd has been arrested and charged. Forgive me if I don’t celebrate. Far too often, there are arrests and charges with no conviction. With evidence, DNA and key character witnesses, the “not guilty” votes have it, and those families of the victim are left in shambles and with many more questions than answers.. again. If you are complicit in the fight, you do as much harm as those impeding the progress.

Do I see an end to this? Lord, I hope so. I read a tweet (and I’m recalling from memory, so if it sounds familiar, please inform me so I can give proper credit) where the person tweeting told their children about George Floyd and to watch out so they do not experience his fate. Their parents told them about Rodney King about the same thing. The grandparents told his parents about Emmett Till about the same thing. My thing is, how far back do we need to go? Or worse, how far forward will we have to tell these stories to “supposedly” save their life? We live in a generation where NASCAR can get rid of the Confederate flag, yet have their only black driver in the main circuit find a noose in their garage stall.

This is 2020, y’all.

I am wholeheartedly and unapologetically Black. I say this not to make an obvious statement; I say that because it is who I am and what I represent. I stand fully behind #BlackLivesMatter. I have received an outpouring of support from a number of people, by both Black and non-Black advocates and supporters. I have witnessed the genuine public advocacy and I am truly appreciative of it. I just ask that we keep the same energy after the initial protests die down. The moment that there is a slowdown in the process, we get back to square one. We don’t want to get back to that level, and truthfully can’t afford to. To those who have been supportive, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

We reflect at a time that some cannot celebrate. Juneteenth has been something I had celebrated silently in the past. Looking back, that was a mistake to do. It should have been celebrated as loud as I can get (and those who have had the pleasure of knowing how loud I can get can understand), and the importance of celebrating it has never been as relevant as it has been now. Teaching my daughter about why Juneteenth is important is vital, as I am skeptical that this would be learned in a elementary/middle/high school unfortunately. I hope I am wrong.. I truly hope I am wrong, and there are a myriad of resources and factual history that’s not just taught in February. I can only knock on wood and hope for the best.

Truth be told, I’m still a bit flustered to celebrate Father’s Day for myself. I’m used to celebrating my father and him as a person for this day so to have people wish me a happy Father’s Day is a bit strange, but I am grateful for it. However, I am privileged to celebrate this day since people like Oscar Grant, George Floyd, and countless other fathers cannot be celebrated. They were unfairly and unjustly taken from their families, and it is extremely unfortunate that they cannot be with their loved ones. So, with each Father’s Day, I am thankful for my loved ones who I celebrate with, yet I also think of those who cannot be there. It’s a moment of reflection, for sure.

I’m blessed to have people who love me and that are lowkey able to put up with me and my shenanigans, so here’s me celebrating them since they’ve celebrated me:

It’s been rough the last few weeks mentally. When news first broke of George Floyd, it was very difficult to function as normal. Checking in on my family, my close friends and those who have been directly affected helped, as it showed solidarity. However, if I told you that I was fine during this whole ordeal, it would be a whole lie. It did not help that there were disparaging remarks that were made regarding previous friendships in the past. Ultimately, after discussions with cooler heads, they were able to reaffirm what I already took from what was said. All in all, it was unfortunate, and disappointing that there has been no growth or self-reflection after all this time, but it is what it is. Best wishes on future endeavors, and that’s that.

I am aware that Jay’s Epic Misadventures has turned into Jay’s Mundane Ranting, rather different than what this page originally was 4-5 years ago. Pretty sure I highkey was a train wreck back then, as put together as I might have seemed. The craziness of travel to random places has been replaced with random Jazmin milestones and.. dare I say, stability? Thing is, flying by the seat of your pants is only fun when you have a seat to fly by.. and once that seat is worn out, it’s not a great feeling when you crash. I crashed a lot. Like, a lot. But the last couple years have been more about building than they have about going about. A lot of large moves are moving to fruition now, where it was lowkey survival mode at the onset of this blog. All in all, the travels will come. The moments happen. So, for now, we keep taking photos, we keep capturing moments, and we move with life’s currents instead of against them. Ultimately, the stream hits the waterfall soon enough, so best to enjoy the lazy river while you can.

Til the next time, we say: